So it’s been 12 weeks since Luke was born. Where has that time gone. It’s no lie once you have a baby timing is nothing. I suppose il be honest it’s been a whirlwind of 12 weeks. A serious amount of highs and a few lows to (being a new mommy isn’t always as picture perfect as it may seem no matter who you are)
My reason for writing this post is today I got a bit overwhelmed. I had to pause , look at Luke…. I just thought when did all of this happen. How did I get so lucky to have such a gorgeous happy bubbly baby who never stops smiling.
It seems in the blink of an eye our lives can change. No one knows what lies ahead or what tomorrow will bring. So as per normal my thoughts ran away.
I just spent alot of today wondering about the what ifs in my life…. thinking to much. I work myself up worrying sometimes. I just panick about my future and il be honest my past. I wouldnt say I suffer with desperate Anxiety. Do I worry to much? Yes. Do I panick alot? 100% Do I give others to much head space? Yep Do I try be a perfectionist? Yeah
So I guess I have anxiety in my own way. I’ve always been aware of it. I never needed anyone’s help nor do I need to be medicated for it . I think talking about your worries or your reasoning for panicking will help you so much more. I guess everyone is different but that’s my case.
I can be a fool for people sometimes. Il always do good by others even if they have hurted me. I dont like having grudges with people. There is nothing worse than not talking to others. Im a type of person if I’ve done wrong il hold my hands up apologise straight away. If I’m wronged then I get all hot headed and yeah I can at times have a temper on me I can make situations worse for myself.
I guess today looking at Luke I thought to myself if I didn’t make past choices would I have him. If I didn’t live my life down to every minute the way I did then where would I be now. Would I have this amazing son? Would I be where I am now.
I thought about how Christmas is 1 week away.
How lucky am I to be a mom this year.
I thought about all those who may be suffering with their own problems and how they might have no one.
Each homeless person I passed I thought to myself someone once pushed that person in a buggy and that the person on the floor in the freezing cold is someone’s flesh and blood. That’s someone baby. Let them be 20 or 30 it’s still someone’s baby. No matter what you or I think of them.
I passed the hospital and thought about each person inside. All those sick who won’t be out for Christmas. Every nurse , doctor or attendant who won’t be home for Christmas as they have work.I thought about how someone that very minute may have been diagnosed with an illness , given a time to live and their families raced through my mind . I thought about the children inside there. Who might not get home for Christmas.I thought about how they would be worrying over Santa coming to them would he know where they are? While that’s their little worry their parents are worrying about their child’s health.
When I seen People going through town that real Christmas feel in them carrying bags of gifts but I thought about a local girl who lost her life in a car accident 2 weeks ago. How her family must be in absolute agony pain this Christmas and possibly every Christmas going forward. How would they get through it. I was worried for them. How sad it must be for them.
A Facebook post came up, a suicide not from a 20 year old boy. Who took his own life after a break up. I read back on comments and just thought to myself do any of us realise what we say or do …. how it can effect others. Or are we all so caught up in Life that we don’t take notice of someone’s cry for help. Are people so good at hiding feelings we can’t see them. Or how our conversations with others may be our last.
So yeah today my mind went into overdrive (all whilst I carried on as per normal)
However all I wanted to do was get it across to everyone in one blog post.
1 week to Christmas.
S L O W D O W N
Cherish your life , each breath , the fresh air , the rain , the love ,the happiness , the cold , the warmth. Cherish the little things.
Cherish your babies , children , loved ones.
Cherish the happiness and the memories that don’t cost a penny.
Don’t give out that you couldn’t get a top or a toy. Don’t waste time arguing over crap from the past or like a parking space , traffic , getting cross over something you can’t change. Don’t be so rude to people you don’t know. The Christmas Rush, barging through people in town ( loads did it to me as if I shouldnt be in town with my buggy) be some bit considerate. People working in Retail or the Hair & Beauty industry always get the blunt of our humors.
Remember you nor I know what’s ahead or how the other person is feeling. Make the difference to someone’s Day.
Appriciate your life.
Don’t start 2017 with grudges. If someone is mean to you or belittles you don’t retaliate because let them carry that burden. Not everyone will want to be your friend or be nice to you but try be the person who is opposite of those people, be friendly. Say what you need to but get on with your own life not degrading others.
I spent a lot of my time mentally worrying about all this today. For me though all these thoughts just make me realise that each morning when I wake to my boy that’s what matters.
I aim to Raise him to be a nice honest young man who doesn’t judge, who is respectful , who is friendly , who is honest & helpful, These are my hopes.
I can only try my best and do as much as I can to make sure of it.
Coming out of town today an elderly woman’s boots bag was ripped and I went over to her , told her. I looked at her thinking to herself what was she gonna do as she was pushing a shopping trolley that was full , if that was my nan would someone help her. I took out my clothes I got and put them all in one bag and gave her a bag. She said it was my good deed done and thanked me.
It was my good deed but isn’t it common decency , its how I was brought up. The world would be a better place if we all just S L O W E D D O W N and took the time to think and be kind.
Just don’t get caught up in the buzz of it all and be aware of others around you.
Have a very Merry Christmas , may all your hopes & dreams come true for 2017
Thank you for all the support in 2016