January 2016– Like you all, I set goals for my year ahead. I had hopes , dreams & visions set in my head on what I wanted from the year. However I learned a valuable lesson very early in 2016.

We can’t plan ahead as we do not know what lies ahead….

Thankfully this was a positive lesson learned, In mid January 2016 I found out I was expecting my first baby!!!

It was a shock, don’t get me wrong , yet the most amazing feeling in the world. I don’t think I have ever hidden how much I would of loved to be a mom some day.

For years I was convinced I couldn’t have kids, I confided in my immediate family about this. Funny enough the week before I found out the news I was on route to the doctor to get tests done to see if I was able to or not  . I don’t know why , it was a gut instinct (clearly a wrong one). Anyone who has been overweight, as overweight as I was at such a young age , you might be reading this , maybe your in that position now and when you read about issues people have…. the problems they face conceiving kids , a huge factor is obesity , it can cause complications …it makes you wonder ….. panic a little…worry!

I think that when I found out it was a shock more disbelief because I was wrong , I allowed my mind get away from me worrying that I wouldn’t ever be a mom or have my own family.

So for those out there who may be in that position go get yourself checked because the sooner you know the better it will be. You will be able to make decisions on what route you may want to take eventually when you are ready for kids. Both you and your partner. Infertility is as common in men as it is in women. It’s nothing to be ashamed of.

Reality hits home for me-  So here I was all excited yet my world was changing …. at the same time I was giving my blog my all so I had made a decision I wasn’t allowing the fact I was pregnant stop me from keeping my weight down and being on this journey.

Again I wasn’t long learning that I wouldn’t have any control over my body for the next 10 months!!!!

My Pregnancy

DO NOT BELIEVE WHAT THEY SAY IN MAGIZINES OR WHAT YOU SEE IN MOVIES

No one can prepare you for your pregnancy as our bodies are all different and react in different ways.

 I never in all my life had been so sick. I was consistently in & out of the bathroom everything I ate came back up. The Famous morning sickness, although I believe it should be called something else – such as all day sickness. I spent those days running and staring into the toilet day in day out. Trying to work a fulltime job on top of it was draining. Embarrassing to. I often had to vommit in the bin behind me in work. Not being able to go out for dinner as 3 minutes later I would vommit it up or I wouldnt be able to eat it when it was in front of me.

I remember people saying

“once the 12 weeks pass you will be fine” 

 LIES!!!!

Truth about it is my body just didn’t take to pregnancy. I vommited my whole way through. Now would I expect anything else. I always have to work for what I want Ive never gotten anything easy in life so why I thought this baby making progress would be easy …. silly me!!!

My 12 week scan I remember it so well. Obviously it was an amazing feeling seeing the baby again ( I got to see my bambino at 9 weeks to over being so sick) but when they scanned me first I hadn’t drank enough So it wasn’t clear enough for them to get what they needed ,I looked at the girl doing my scan half wanting to kill her as she was telling me I had to drink more fluids, I gave a stare while informing her I cannot keep fluids down. But it had to be done. So I had to force bottles of lucozade sport into me (I will never ever ever again drink a bottle that was the last day I did), all was fine until I looked at himself going this isn’t staying down. I jumped off the chair and apologised to the girl , I couldn’t keep it down I just couldn’t and as I ran to the bathroom she pulled me back into the ultrasound room to get the scan done. She said whats your partners name I said Brian. She was like “Ryan , Ryan we need you in here” I did laugh as it was so funny while I’m trying to not vommit and be serious.

Our scan went on for a few minutes! I couldn’t even look at the screen I stared ahead taking deep breaths ,swallowing over and over trying to not vommit. I hopped off the bed after what seemed like forever but was only a few minutes and ran to the toilet. The girl got what she needed from the scan and I was in the horrors in the bathroom bringing the lucozade sport up. TMI I know but it’s the honest truth.

So once I was over my 12 weeks and still vommiting daily I soon learned I was suffering with hyperemesis gravidarum. 
This is constant sickness in your pregancy . I made a few trips to the hospital throughout the pregnancy to be put on the drip over dehydration! Antisickness tablets, sickness bands, ginger, dry crackers…. you name it I tried it but nothing worked. 

It was only about 6 or 7 months in I was told by a lady who owns a pub across from where I work to try fresh cherrys…..and hey they actually did work ( not the cheapest solution but I didn’t care). I lived on cherrys for the rest of my pregnancy. Thank god I was pregnant for the summer as they are in season. I would carry cherrys with me everywhere. I did get a turn towards them In the end. 

And…………let the myths begin

“Your having a girl definitely with the sickness”
“Your carrying low definitely a boy”

“What’s the heartbeat… oh if it’s over 140 it’s a girl under 140 a boy”

Please if you take anything from this take the fact………. 

No one can predict your baby’s sex. Let’s be real about it they have a 50/50 chance of getting it right. 

Do not read all these how to predict my babys sex on Google or anywhere else!!!!!

I had ended up convincing myself I was having a girl!!!! No joke. I kept thinking I had the sickness ,my skin was spotty more than normal , I was emotional , hairs on my legs weren’t growing (this is an actual myth that if hair growth slows down on legs etc it’s a girl) I kept saying has to be a girl it’s double hormones that’s why I’m so sick etc!!!

Well wasn’t I wrong!!!!

The last hurdle ……

I remember finishing up in work and my due date was September 16th. If like me your an organised control freak then do not pay attention to due dates. I was set on my baby arriving September 16th. Me being the simpleton I am, I thought id be home with my baby for the late late show the following Friday.

Again I wasn’t long learning this baby was in control not me.

I never thought about the fact I might not have a natural birth. I never thought about what can go wrong . In my head I had a plan and it was going to happen .

Those last few week’s. They drag …… and the myths continue….

If I cleaned , then all of a sudden I was nesting… oh the babys on its way…. Truth is you have nothing else to do you get so bored so you clean. I totally get how it can get your labour started but again everyone is different.

You get emotional , oh it’s a sign your going to go definitely it’s near. Nope it’s just im aggrivated and annoyed…. therefore emotional.

People tell you go home , bounce on your ball , have a bath , a hot curry , loads of sex. I did all of it. Well not the sex part as whoever says you should do that must be a gymnast as I was like a whale and would not be in any way shape or form looking to do such an act lol!!! I had no interest in it!!!!! At all!!!!!!

No one tells you these things though even me writing about my experience won’t help your pregancy it might make sense to you but each pregnancy is unique. No one tells you the effect it has on your body. How it takes over your life it’s no longer about you. It’s about this life growing inside you.

Your pregnancy is your pregnancy. Embrace it enjoy it and don’t wish it away. Your baby has to come regardless. It might not be on its due date,  it might be before ,it might be later….

As my Nana Betty says time come baby come????

I’d go through this and more all over again as the feeling when your baby arrives is indescribable

Stay tuned for my journey through the labour ward.

Sar x 

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